Fair Weather

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

When I was a kid, my mother always told me "You don't want fairweather friends". When I was really little, I had no idea what she meant by that -- I wondered if there were some people who only agreed to be your friend when the sun was shining or something -- then when I got a bit older, I thought she was wrong.

I was desperately unpopular as a child; having started school as a redheaded stepkid with jamjar glasses and a patch over one eye, and being a bit brighter than average and already being able to read and write kind of set me apart. I was bullied verbally and physically pretty much from the word go, and having an over-active imagination really didn't help me much. So, naturally, I kind of thought that having any friends at all, fairweather, fake or otherwise, was better than nothing.

Consequently, I had a lot of transient and meaningless "friendships" where I was basically used by people who wanted to come to my parents' house and play with my toys and eat the fab food my Mum cooked. But it was better than being beaten up, so I let it slide.

In the intervening years, I have been used, abused and disappointed a lot of times by a lot of people. I have had so-called friends who have let me down repeatedly, letting me make all the effort and giving nothing back. I have had friends who have let me trust them enough to tell things in confidence and then gone blabbing behind my back. I have had friends who expected me to turn up to all the events for their birthdays and so on, but who always let me down if they had a better offer.

And now, I have had friends who have dropped me without hearing my side of the story, or who are paying me lip service while spying on me for some juvenile reason.

No more.

Today is the last day of the old life I am leaving behind. Tomorrow, my new life starts, and along with a lot of things I have thrown away, I am done with the bullshit of fairweather friends.

So:

If you believe what you have been told about me more than you believe what I have said about myself, remove me from your friends list.

If you think I am a cheat and a liar, remove me from your friends list.

If you are just hanging around because you think you can get some kind of kick from watching me fail, remove me from your friends list.

If you think I am wrong for moving on with my life and striving for happiness, or if you believe I don't deserve to be happy, remove me from your friends list.

If you are judging me and feel I am the bad guy in all of this, remove me from your friends list.

Because you know what? I don't need you.

Those of you that are left: I'm glad to have you :)